I never eat at the mall, but I enjoy reading the calorie counts of the food... staggering!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Why Do People Get Flu Shots?
Every winter, I hear horror stories about flu shots. Everyone I know who gets them gets sick immediately after. That's part of the treatment, right? You have to get the cold in order to fight it, right?
Bullshit.
Here's an idea. Try being healthy. Support your body with necessary nutrients, so you won't come down with anything at all.
I used to be a big smoker and a drunk. Not only did smoking and drinking influence the current crap state of my digestive system, it gave me colds all the time. Each winter, I came down with at least two bronchial infections.
I got fat and farty and decided to take control of my health. The more toxins I cut from my diet, the less snotty gross colds infiltrated my body. So here you go. This is the FartyGirl guide to not getting sick this winter.
1. Don't smoke.
No really, DON'T SMOKE. No cigarettes, cloves, or ganga. If you smoke, you're asking for it.
2. Don't drink.
Whiskey? Vodka and OJ? Burbon and cider? It doesn't work. Believe me, I've tried. When sick, you need to flush the sickness out of your system. Drinking alcohol dehydrates you; it only makes you more susceptible to flus and colds.
3. Get a good night's sleep.
Not sleeping well, especially mixed with drinking and smoking, used to be a recipe for a cold for me.
4. Drink black or green tea. No coffee.
I love coffee. It's one of the few vices that I still allow myself. This rule I save for when I'm actually sick.
5. Take Echinacea.
Ech is good for post-holiday parties. When you've spent all night smoking, drinking, and not sleeping, have Echinacea tea as a nightcap before bed. Add raw honey and ground ginger; they are also good immune system boosters.
6. Drink water, not OJ.
Water flushes out your system. OJ creates mucus. It also weighs you down with sugar, which isn't good for colds. Oh and by water, I don't mean Vitamin Water. Real filtered or spring H2O.
7. Suck on cough drops.
When mucusy, I pull out my Fisherman's Friend drops. They are so strong, they punch my face out. Forget stupid Altoids. I haven't felt so mentholated since the time in high school when I snorted mint snuff while tripping on acid.
8. Drink coconut water
I can't go on enough about coconut water. A small serving contains so many nutrients and vitamins. The electrolytes keep you from getting dehydrated. It's got kind of a weird taste. I like to mix it with soy milk or orange juice or pineapple juice.
9. Drink Gypsy Cold Care
This is my favorite winter tea. I love it so much that I horde it, save it for if I get really sick. It's full of healthy herbs.
10. Herbs
Make your own tea with elderberry, goldenseal, licorice, ginseng, and dandelion root. Cook with rosemary, garlic, and oregano.
Notice that I said nothing about hand sanitizer. I said nothing about washing vigorously. That's my one flaw. I'm bad about washing my hands. Partly it's because I believe that we do need to keep in contact with germs. Our body does need to learn how to fight them off. For me, it makes more sense to strengthen my body, so it has the best chance.
Of course, now that I've written this blog, I'm sure to come down with something immediately.
Bullshit.
Here's an idea. Try being healthy. Support your body with necessary nutrients, so you won't come down with anything at all.
I used to be a big smoker and a drunk. Not only did smoking and drinking influence the current crap state of my digestive system, it gave me colds all the time. Each winter, I came down with at least two bronchial infections.
I got fat and farty and decided to take control of my health. The more toxins I cut from my diet, the less snotty gross colds infiltrated my body. So here you go. This is the FartyGirl guide to not getting sick this winter.
1. Don't smoke.
No really, DON'T SMOKE. No cigarettes, cloves, or ganga. If you smoke, you're asking for it.
2. Don't drink.
Whiskey? Vodka and OJ? Burbon and cider? It doesn't work. Believe me, I've tried. When sick, you need to flush the sickness out of your system. Drinking alcohol dehydrates you; it only makes you more susceptible to flus and colds.
3. Get a good night's sleep.
Not sleeping well, especially mixed with drinking and smoking, used to be a recipe for a cold for me.
4. Drink black or green tea. No coffee.
I love coffee. It's one of the few vices that I still allow myself. This rule I save for when I'm actually sick.
5. Take Echinacea.
Ech is good for post-holiday parties. When you've spent all night smoking, drinking, and not sleeping, have Echinacea tea as a nightcap before bed. Add raw honey and ground ginger; they are also good immune system boosters.
6. Drink water, not OJ.
Water flushes out your system. OJ creates mucus. It also weighs you down with sugar, which isn't good for colds. Oh and by water, I don't mean Vitamin Water. Real filtered or spring H2O.
7. Suck on cough drops.
When mucusy, I pull out my Fisherman's Friend drops. They are so strong, they punch my face out. Forget stupid Altoids. I haven't felt so mentholated since the time in high school when I snorted mint snuff while tripping on acid.
8. Drink coconut water
I can't go on enough about coconut water. A small serving contains so many nutrients and vitamins. The electrolytes keep you from getting dehydrated. It's got kind of a weird taste. I like to mix it with soy milk or orange juice or pineapple juice.
9. Drink Gypsy Cold Care
This is my favorite winter tea. I love it so much that I horde it, save it for if I get really sick. It's full of healthy herbs.
10. Herbs
Make your own tea with elderberry, goldenseal, licorice, ginseng, and dandelion root. Cook with rosemary, garlic, and oregano.
Notice that I said nothing about hand sanitizer. I said nothing about washing vigorously. That's my one flaw. I'm bad about washing my hands. Partly it's because I believe that we do need to keep in contact with germs. Our body does need to learn how to fight them off. For me, it makes more sense to strengthen my body, so it has the best chance.
Of course, now that I've written this blog, I'm sure to come down with something immediately.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It's Harder than It Looks
Dr: FartyGirl, you don't have celiac disease. What are you going to do now?
FG: I'm going to get me a Guinness!
Well... it didn't happen exactly like that. I sent out a massive text to my farty friends. It said: Pizza and beer for everyone!
But that was a lie too. Since getting my test results back last week, I've only looked. Looked at the bagels, Philly pretzels, pita chips, veggie burgers, etc. Looking is okay. I can't push myself to actually eat gluten again. The reasons?
1. I feel more awake off gluten.
2. I am thinner off gluten.
3. I get sick less off gluten.
After all my pontificating, being "so sure" that I had celiac, I have to now face the facts. I have IBS. There's only two fail-safe plans that will cure that. Eating healthy. Eating less.
I've noticed, over the past couple years, that on those days where I'm too busy to eat, I don't get sick. Don't get me wrong. I eat. I just eat much less. I'll wait until hunger punches my stomach out and I can't take it anymore. Then, no sicky.
Sigh. It's amazing how hard it is to eat less. In the time I've grown up, American culture has turned eating into a celebration. Americans don't eat. We stuff our faces. While I am not among those going out to restaurants, gorging three thousand calories at every meal, I have adopted this idea of food time as reward time. I plan out my meals hours in advance. At the slightest irk of hunger, I get excited, wonder: Is it time?
It's my idea about food that needs to change. Life and work need to come first. That is my new diet plan. I will stop obsessing about food, and start obsessing about the shit that matters.
Like publications.
Like a job that pays enough to get me out of my parents' house.
Like explorations, making every day count.
Fellow farty friends, I'm on it.
FG: I'm going to get me a Guinness!
Well... it didn't happen exactly like that. I sent out a massive text to my farty friends. It said: Pizza and beer for everyone!
But that was a lie too. Since getting my test results back last week, I've only looked. Looked at the bagels, Philly pretzels, pita chips, veggie burgers, etc. Looking is okay. I can't push myself to actually eat gluten again. The reasons?
1. I feel more awake off gluten.
2. I am thinner off gluten.
3. I get sick less off gluten.
After all my pontificating, being "so sure" that I had celiac, I have to now face the facts. I have IBS. There's only two fail-safe plans that will cure that. Eating healthy. Eating less.
I've noticed, over the past couple years, that on those days where I'm too busy to eat, I don't get sick. Don't get me wrong. I eat. I just eat much less. I'll wait until hunger punches my stomach out and I can't take it anymore. Then, no sicky.
Sigh. It's amazing how hard it is to eat less. In the time I've grown up, American culture has turned eating into a celebration. Americans don't eat. We stuff our faces. While I am not among those going out to restaurants, gorging three thousand calories at every meal, I have adopted this idea of food time as reward time. I plan out my meals hours in advance. At the slightest irk of hunger, I get excited, wonder: Is it time?
It's my idea about food that needs to change. Life and work need to come first. That is my new diet plan. I will stop obsessing about food, and start obsessing about the shit that matters.
Like publications.
Like a job that pays enough to get me out of my parents' house.
Like explorations, making every day count.
Fellow farty friends, I'm on it.
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