Summery Breakfast

I can't eat a lot in the summer. Especially with IBS. My best days are the ones where I keep it light. Like today.

Here we have apple polenta, almond butter, and tofu raspberry compote. The apple polenta was easy. I cooked 1/4 cup of polenta. When it was almost done, I added a 1/2 cup of applesauce and let it cook more. Then I poured the polenta into teacups to harden.

The almond butter is my own. I crushed almond slivers to dust in my food processor. Then I addd canola oil. A little at a time, until it was smooth. Not too grainy.

The compote was the real experiment. I've been wanting to make it since the spring of '08. When I spent ten days in the UK. The Globe Theater had a snack bar that served bangin' raspberry compote. I didn't even know what a compote was. Just a fruity super-smooth smoothie with little nutty kernels in it.

According to online recipes, compotes usually contain sugar and wheat. Mine contains neither. I threw frozen raspberries, tofu, flax seed meal, and a splash of apple juice into my food processor. When it hit a creamy consistency, I spooned it out. It's still runnier than I wanted it to be. But tart and tasty.

What I've Been Eating Lately

The birthday dinner changed my life.

As it is my family tradition to eat pizza and cake on birthdays, it is Farty tradition to eat nothing but cake for the two days after my birthday. So I've been eating cake.

But unlike years past, I have not been feeling like shit afterwards. I asked my mom: "Why am I feeling like I could conquer the world after eating cake?"

She wanted to know how much protein was in the cake.

"Ummm... well, I didn't want to tell you this," I said. "But there was a ton of tofu in that icing."

Unfazed, she replied, "Well, there you go."

Sooooo... for the past week, I've gone a little nutty (durt!) with the protein.

Green Oats & Tofu Almond Butter

This frightening-looking gem was inspired by the lovely Heather at Heather Eats Almond Butter. I pureed spinach, applesauce, and flax meal with cooked oatmeal in my food processor. Then I threw in some of the leftover icing from the birthday cake.

Polenta and Greek Yogurt

I'm a teacher and a student. One thing I've learned as both: It costs more to go to school than to teach it! Depleted funds have returned me to waitressing this summer. When I get home late at night, I need dairy to help me fall asleep. But one does not sleep by yogurt alone. So I made some polenta, sweetened with applesauce and agave nectar. If you want to make polenta, check out recipes at Fat Free Vegan or 101 Cookbooks. Those are the ones I follow.

Tofu Apple Raspberry Smoothie
& Almond Butter Toast

I don't eat fruit. No joke. I really don't. I have synaesthesia, which makes me sensitive to texture. To me, fruit tastes squishy and snappy. Why not eat worms? Seriously. That's what it's like for me. BUT... while I hate the texture of whole fruit, I love the taste of fruit juice. It hit me this week that with my processor I could make smoothies. Sans worms. Add a little tofu, and I get nutrients plus.


It's been an awesome week. Extra protein helped me calm down on coffee. Less coffee means less IBS explosions. Usually IBS keeps me from eating so much protein. I can't digest it. Thanks to my trusty food processor, I don't have that problem anymore. If you have IBS or digestive probs, consider buying one. It's worth it!

31

Yesterday, I turned 31. Today, I ate two pieces of cake.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

It's tradition in my family to do pizza, cake, and ice cream on each of our birthdays. Since turning into FartyGirl, I have started cooking my own birthday dinner.

"Nice birthday for you, huh?" say my friends, sarcastically.

Actually, it is. I love cooking for people. Since I cook only healthy food, people rarely want to eat it. Especially my picky family members. But on my birthday, they suck it up!

Last year, I cooked a vegan, no-refined sugar dinner. Everyone loved it. This year, I had to figure out how to achieve the same satiety, sans gluten.

Here's what I did:

The Menu

Vegan Pizza
Trader Joe's Whole Wheat Crust
Trader Joe's Tomato Basil Sauce
Trader Joe's Soy Mozzerella Cheese
EVOO & Oregano

Gluten-Free Non-Dairy Pizza
Glutino Pizza Crusts
Trader Joe's Tomato Basil Sauce
Almond and Gourmet Mozzarella Soy Cheese
EVOO & Oregano

Gluten-Free Non-Dairy Swiss Chard White Pie
Glutino Pizza Crusts
Swiss Chard (locally grown)
Almond and Gourmet Mozzarella Soy Cheese
EVOO, Garlic, Oregano

Salad
Arugula, Spinach and Green Leaf Lettuce
Carrots, Radishes, Cauliflower
(All locally grown)

Vanilla Apple Almond Cake
Corn & Millet Flour
Sweetened with Applesauce & Agave Nectar
Cinnamon, Ginger & Vanilla
Vanilla Tofu & Almond Butter Icing

The Recipes

The pizzas were easy. No real cheffery involved. I flattened out the Trader Joe's wheat dough with some flour and spread it on a foiled cookie sheet. If you click on the pictures, you can see some foil still stuck on!


The rounder pizzas were gluten-free non-dairy pizzas, made with Glutino dough. They came frozen. I frisbeed those little bastards onto a foiled tray as well.

The cheese was a mixture of soy and almond vegan cheese. I brushed EVOO on both, to help the fake cheese melt. I also tossed the swiss chard in EVOO, to help it cook.

Store bought ingredients make it easy to be lazy. Little tricks, like the EVOO, make the pizzas taste more homemade. Sprinkle a little oregano and garlic on top, and the pies taste homemade.

And now... the cake!




Can I talk for a minute about how much I love cake?

I LOVE cake. It's the king of comforting foods. Sweet. Moist. Biting and delectable all at once.

The best thing? The sound. If you've never noticed it before, try eating cake in silence some time. Slowly, slide a fork into the bready crevices. You'll hear the cake sigh. Almost like it's as excited to be eaten, as you are to be eating it.

My 31st birthday cake was complex. Mainly because it was my own recipe.


Vanilla Apple Almond Cake

1 cup corn flour
1 cup millet flour
1-1/4 cups unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup vegetable or canola oil
1/2-1 cup agave nectar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions:
Sift dry ingredients. Add all wet ingredients, except agave. Start with 1/2 cup of agave. Add 1/4 cup at a time, to taste. Remember that the cake will taste less sweet after baked.

Fill a single 9-inch pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 45-50 minutes.


Vanilla Tofu Almond Icing

1 cup almond butter
1/2 package of silken Mori-Nu tofu, firm
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4-1/2 cup agave nectar
1-1/2 tablespoons of vanilla extract
pinch of salt

Directions:
I started by making some almond butter. I threw half a pound of almonds into a food processor. I processed them until they were ground almond meal. Then I added vegetable oil until it had a nice runny texture.

Next, I drained the tofu. I wrapped it in paper towels and lightly squeezed the water out. Then I chucked that in the processor.

(Note: It's possible to make this without a food processor. Silken tofu breaks up easily. You can buy almond butter at the store. If you don't have a food processor, give it a try. Use a regular mixer. Let me know how it goes!)

After this came trial and error. I added the sweet stuff. I tasted. I added more sweet stuff. I tasted. I ran around the house with spoons and had my family taste it. When the pickiest of my kin nodded approval, I scooped out the icing and spread the cake.

The cake was better than last year, according to my sister. Dense, but moist, said my dad. Nobody noticed the tofu. I didn't tell them either. Heh-heh-heh.