A Story about my Tits

In 2001, I found a lump in my breast.

Actually, I found a bunch of lumps.

One afternoon, I stopped in at the gyno. She felt me up.



After the exam, she explained that I did not have cancer. Rather, the lumps in my boobs came from not eating enough calcium.

I looked up at her, like: Huh?

I LOVED milk. I drank it every single day. I also ate a ton of cheese. Fettucini alfredo was one of my favorite dinners through college. Most of my life, I was a firm believer that milk DOES do a body good.

www.cynical-c.com

Let's fast-forward nine years.

Today I'm a vegan on a gluten-free, sugar free, soy and corn free, high fiber, high raw diet who runs at least fifteen miles a week and does yoga every other day.

I do not drink milk.

I do not eat yogurt.

My tits are lump-free.

So much for the great source of calcium in your cow's milk, huh?

This story came jogging back to my memory last week. Calcium was all over the internet. And I swear those Got Milk? ads come out like swarms of locusts.

Dumbass!

Why doesn't the ad say what milk really does?

Milk: It makes you wanna choke a bitch. So drink up!

At least we got the goods to fight 'em.

First, there is the lovely Alisa who runs Go Dairy Free. There's Healthy Chef Alex twittering a story about vegan nuns. Then there's this post at The Vegan Diet.

Of course I gotta cover the belly news.

When it comes to digestion - it's important to consider your dairy intake and how it makes you feel.


Thirty to fifty million Americans are lactose intolerant. Seventy to ninety percent of the human beings living on the eastern hemisphere cannot digest cow's milk.

I know it's presumptuous of me... but I can't help wondering...

Maybe

just MAYBE

It's because we're not supposed to be drinking it?

There are SO many great sources of calcium out there. Most are easier to digest than milk. Most give you more BANG for your buck too. Not only do you get calcium, you get tons of other vitamins, minerals, and fiber. Check it. Check it. Check it.

Calcium is easy to get into your system. It don't take effort or complicated recipes. Here are some of my favorite easy fixes.

Collards
Instead of using a taco shell, stick your fixin's into a collard.
It holds together way better anyway.


Mustard Greens, Swiss Chard, Kale
Here greens are sauteed in evoo, garlic and a pinch of nutmeg and eaten with pakora pancakes.



Broccoli
foodnmore.wordpress.com

Soak in some boiling water for 3-5 minutes. It softens up the broc without losing the nutrition.




Beans
There are beans under there, I swear!!!




Seaweed
Vegan sushi - my new favorite breakfast!



Tahini
whatscookingamerica.net

I drizzle it on top of my sweet potatoes.
I mix it with carob and hemp milk for puddin'.
Such a great picker upper!

Questions

So... where am I on the preachy meter today? Pretty high, I know. At least I didn't get into all the gross stuff about milk. If you wanna really get into it, you can find that out on your own.

Please - LET ME HAVE IT! I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts about dairy and lactose intolerance. Do you drink milk? Eat cheese? Why or why not?

Whether you've quit dairy or not - what benefits have you found from consuming or not consuming dairy products?

All I can do is give my testimony. My tits used to have lumps from calcium deficiency. Now they don't. I also used to get sore throats every week. Now I don't. That's all I can say.

Maybe if Jack Shepherd did my body good, I'd believe him about the milk.

Sweet 16 Squared

My birthday weekend has started in the best way possible.

With SOCCA!!!

How beautiful is this thing? Seriously.

I used this recipe - I have NO idea where I got it. Back in April, I went searching on the internet after Michelle, Lori and Eimear posted about it. Whatever I found, I copied down in my recipe book without a link.

I did change it up a bit. Maybe we can call this a group effort? Either way - mad props to Michelle, Lori, and Eimear for posting!

Italian Socca

1 cup chickpea flour
1 cup warm water
3 tablespoons evoo
1/2 tablespoon parsley
1/2 tablespoon basil
1/2 tablespoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Sift dry ingredients. Whisk in 2 tablespoons of evoo and warm water. Let sit for thirty minutes.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Leave cast iron skillet in the oven while it preheats. When ready, drop 1 tablespoon of evoo into pan and shush it around. Pour in batter. Let cook for 15-20 minutes. If you want the top to brown, broil it for about a minute at the end.

It came out absolutely perfect. Happy birthday to me!

At my house, pizza is birthday food. Usually, I make vegan pizza and cake for my family. This year, I made socca pizza! Talk about Franco-Italiano! And it's just for me.



I tried a couple slices with Gena's cashew cheese and red pepper. Check out the close-up socca porn!


On Monday - FLAG DAY! - I turn 32. It sounds so anti-climactic doesn't it? I feel like I've finally reached that age where birthdays just don't matter.

It's business as usual. This weekend, I'm going to my college town to work on the Grow Indie plot. Then me and my pals are going to have a fun night out at one of my favorite watering holes.

Photo by Ripple Poppy

It's a bar underneath a fire company. There's a bowling alley. The Guinness tastes like root beer and the only wine is white zin. Dollar-twenty-five vodka and sodas, anyone?

Just a typical weekend in sleepy Pennsylvania country. And we wouldn't have it any other way!

True'dat!

Q & A's

Thank you so much for your answers to my questions over the past two weeks. I'm really enjoying the feedback! From looking at our common food issues, I'm hoping to establish a better understanding of general IBS "triggers". Here's what I learned so far.

What foods make us feel good?
Rice
Eggs
Avocado
Coconut
Peanut butter
Chocolate
Apples
Portobella mushrooms
Leafy greens
Quinoa
Fruit
Oysters
Liver
Bananas
Prunes
Wheatgrass shots


What foods make us feel not so good?
Nut butter
Dairy
Gluten
Sugar
Too much fiber
Eggs
Casein
Potatoes
Meat
Acidy foods
Bread
Wine
Tea
Coffee
Salt
Olive oil
Citrus
Raw onions
Anything with chemicals and preservatives


Favorite nutritious foods
Sweet potatoes
Artichokes
Sugar free oatmeal cookies
Peanut butter
Asparagus
Swiss Chard
Strawberries
Dates
Oysters
Broccoli
Edamame

It's interesting to me that our favorite foods are all comforting, soft foods. The foods that make us feel like shit are the tough, sharp, pungent foods. It's almost like reading the doctrine of signatures for IBS, but backwards!

Also interesting - Hormone and PMS-related issues were UNANIMOUS among everyone who commented. What's up with that? Any ideas? A strong majority of us have messed with our diet in the past due to weight or health issues too. There's a blog post - or two - in there.

Upcoming Recipes!

Pumpkin Seed Pesto

Cranberry Pumpkin Seed Bars

Raw Oatmeal Cacao Cookies

In the Half-Assed Whole Foods post, I asked what food looked good... here's what won. The recipes will be posted over the next couple weeks. Thanks for commenting! I'm excited to share!

Our favorite snacks!
Sweet potatoes
Carrots
Peanut Butter
Kale Chips
Cheez-its
Flax Crackers
Dried oranges
Dried berries
Banana and tahini
Pistachios
Carrots and hummus
Carrots and salsa

It sounds to me like we are a crunchy, savory bunch of foodies! There's a lot of sweet potato love happening in our kitchens. And I am right there with you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS!!!



Now, Let's Reflect

At 12.15 am on Monday, I will be saying goodbye to 31. I will be standing on the mountain top of St. Fartsville and waving. If you listen closely, you may hear me screaming.

Goodbye farts!

Goodbye bloat!

Goodbye sleepless nights!

Goodbye hungover mornings!

Goodbye procrastination!


Goodbye anger and jealousy!

Goodbye insecurity!



I just don't give a fuck.

See - I've finally found my path. No diet, no nutritionist, no therapist could've found it for me. Because it was inside me.

What makes me feel good?
Morning exercise
Small meals
Working hard
Being outside
Learning something new
Art
Music
Friends
Sleep

I need to be quiet. I need to move slow. I need to breathe. When all three are in place, I am still. Then I can truly hear myself speaking to me, telling me what I need to do to feel good.

Some people call this God.

Others call it the inner teacher.

In the past, I called it the Force!

Today, I call it Mother Nature.

Vanilla Tarragon Chia Puddin'

It's summer. I don't know about you guys - but I can't digest food for shit. Perhaps it's the millions of projects I got going on. Perhaps it's the heat. Perhaps it's because I'm a FartyGirl and that's the story of my life.

Due to said projects - posts will be blurby for a while. They will be quick recipes, quick tips, quick shout-outs. Y'know the drill.



What you see here is today's post-workout snack: Vanilla Tarragon Chia Puddin'.

It looks scary. But I swear, it's really tasty. This is how it happened.

I came in from the gym and set some chia seeds to soak while I showered. After about 20 minutes, I returned to whip them with a fork. I added Greener Grasses, hemp milk, and stevia. I was all ready to dig in - when I saw the tarragon peeking out of the cupboard at me.

Out of nowhere, Caveman Foods came to mind.

Caveman foods is a water kefir company local to my beloved Pennsylvania country.

They offer a variety of water kefirs in artistic assortments. You can get saffron kefir. You can get black pepper kefir. You can get tarragon kefir!

eatcavemanfoods.com

My fave is the tarragon. It tastes like white wine, but better! Plus it gives you the good bacteria necessary to keep your stomach digesting well and your immune system kickin'.

So I added some to my puddin' to taste. Then I added more. Then I added more.

The piney taste of tarragon mixed so lovely with the sweet vanilla stevia. It carried a complexity to the puddin'. The slight saltiness of Greener Grasses rounded it out for a perfect healthy mid-morning snack.

Vanilla Tarragon Chia Puddin'

2 tablespoons chia seeds
1/4-1/2 cup non-dairy milk
4 drops of vanilla Nu Naturals stevia
1/2 teaspoon Greener Grasses
1/4-1/2 teaspoon tarragon

Soak chia and 1/4 cup non-dairy milk for 20-30 minutes. Whisk with a fork periodically. Add more milk if desired. When the puddin' has reached your texture of choice, add the rest of the ingredients.

Note: If you are skeevy about the slimy texture of chia, you can make this recipe with chia powder, or grind chia seeds in a processor or blender.

Questions

What are your feelings on chia? Like it? Hate it?

What is your favorite snack?

What flavors are your favorite?

What weird food concoctions have you discovered?

Have a great week, everybody!

My Half-Assed Whole Foods Challenge

I got a secret.

Last month, I did the 30-Day Whole Food Challenge.

Sort of.

I didn't post about it, because I didn't follow the rules at all. I half-assed it. Because I'm FartyGirl and that's what I do.

Ready? Set? EXCUSE!

The month of May was busy for me.

Sorry I can' t be more original! But that's really what happened. It was the end of the semester.

I stuck to the challenge as best I could. At least eighty-five percent of my meals, every single day, were whole foods. The majority of my foods were raw. All were vegan and gluten free.

Suprisingly...

Small changes made it REALLY easy.

Instead of pancakes for breakfast...



I ate whole grains, soaked overnight in hemp milk, with cinnamon, salt, and flaxseed meal.



Instead of protein powder smoothies...




I slurped kale, basil and coconut water...




Aaaaand an amazing carrot, ginger, apple, spinach, broccoli juice at Reading Terminal Market!



Instead of Amy's Soups...

I tried to make sushi...



Aaaand ended up eating my usual kraut and kimchi salad instead!



Instead of my local market hummus (which I'm certifiably addicted to)...



I made pumpkin seed pesto...



Aaaand used it to drown my raw vegan pappardelli pasta!



Instead of larabars...
I ate cranberry and pumpkin seed bars...



And raw oatmeal cacao cookies...



Instead of Sunshine burgers...



I ate Healthy Chef Alex's AMAZING veggie burgers.



BUT - hold on a sec. Don't congratulate me yet. There were a lot of meals that didn't fit the protocol.

There was the unveiling of Daiya at my local Whole Foods.

There was Green Mountain Salsa.

There was roasted almond butter - which I've discovered I can digest by itself, and makes a great bedtime snack.

There was my trip to Boston, where I discovered Sunshine Breakfast patties.

There was the incredibly hard hot power yoga class that I LOVE but cannot get through without the help of chocolate!

Not cacao. CHOCOLATE. Totally against the rules.

Averie's chocolate cups

I mean, I'm only human.

There is one thing I can say for myself.

Amidst the craziness of May, I started volunteering at

the Grow Indie garden plot.

Grow Indie is part of the Go Indie franchise, started by one of my great college friends, Robyn Jasko, and her hubby, Paul. On free days, I drove up to my old college town and spent hours in the garden - learning and eating.


I like to think that pulling a radish out of the ground, wiping it on my t-shirt, and nomming it up suffices for some of my mis-steps.


I LOVED eating more whole foods. It made my stomach feel SO MUCH better. In my opinion, the whole foods diet is absolutely necessary to healing IBS.

Thanks to Happy Herbivore for running the whole thing. Also a big thank you to Jenny from Sugar and Spice, for tweeting and blogging about it!

This is definitely a lifestyle that I plan to stick with. If not for IBS, simply because...

Fresh food tastes way better than processed food ANY DAMN DAY!

Questions

What do you think about eating more whole foods? Could you fit more into your life? What processed foods could you not give up? What meals do you find yourself rushed, and having to eat processed foods?

Check out the food porn above. What looks good? What recipes do you want? I'm happy to oblige anything - EXCEPT of course, Healthy Chef Alex's veggie burgers. You'll have to buy "The Great American Detox Diet" for that one. It's worth the spendage!

Last but not least - It's summer! Summer is smoothie-making time. What's your favorite? Here is mine - basil, kale, and coconut water.