Remember When I Used to Write Reviews?

Look! New Larabars!!!

Chorus blaring happy trumpets!!!

Then follow them up with a sad tuba.

Wah-wah-wahhhh...

These did NOT live up to my expectations AT ALL.

First off - they are NOT VEGAN!!! The ingredients come with a warning: The chocolate in this bar may or may not include milk.

Here's the byline for the nutritional info:

• Made with Fair Trade Certified Chocolate
• Gluten Free
• 5g of Fiber
• ½ Serving of Fruit *
• *1/4 cup based on USDA Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2005

Um... WTF, Lara?

I ate the bars - despite their possible milk consumption. The tiny bit of dairy that COULD be in them wouldn't bother me. And as it turned out, it didn't really matter. The bars really weren't that good.

Chocolate Chip Brownie

The chocolate chip brownie tasted like a chocolate Larabar. There was no "brownie" happening. To be fair - I'm not a fan of the chocolate Larabars anyway.

I like to be punched in the mouth by my chocolate.

Larabars are too friendly.

If you are looking for a date bar with the spirit of a brownie, try these...

Look unfamiliar? That's 'cos they used to look like this...

But I digress...

Back to the bashing.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip

Usually - I love the peanut butter Larabar. For some reason, the peanut butter chocolate chip did nothing for me. It's missing something. I don't know what.

Carrot Cake

The carrot cake did not taste like carrot cake. It tasted like raisins and cloves. There's pineapple in it too. More carrots, please Lara?

This sad bastard didn't even make it completely into my mouth. It fell backwards into the windowsill. I let it stay there for a minute. Then I threw it out.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

The chocolate chip cookie dough?

I LOVED IT.

It's the regular cashew cookie bar mixed with chocolate chips. It tasted like chocolate chip cookie dough. It rocked.

When it comes to Larabars, everyone has their faves. Some people swear by the cherry pie. I'm like - Yuck! Peanut butter and cashew cookie all the way! Ginger's good in the winter time. Coconut is like dessert! The rest are... whatev. Most of us foodies would rather make our own!

SO! Don't take my word for it! Give these a try yourself.

What about you?

Have you tried the new bars? What are your faves?

Are there any other date bars you kick it with?

How to Read Labels

This is Jeff Novick. He is a whole food advocate. He used to work for Kraft.

His blog is full of neat topics. He debates Kombucha. He talks calorie density, not calorie counting. He does math.

It's funny - Novick's blog makes me realize that eating healthy is so equally complicated and simple. When we eat processed foods, we have to do math to understand exactly what we are taking into our bodies. When we eat whole foods - MOSTLY PLANTS - there's not much long division involved. We know it's good. There's no question.

Why stress? Why question? Eat plants.

My favorite of Jeff's contributions: This video. Watch it. Please. Then tell me what you think!

Props to my girl, Leah Bloom for tweeting the vid!!!

I Hate Air Conditioning

The chronic sore throat is back!

And it's air conditioning's fault.

In PA, we've had it in the 90s for the last two, maybe three, weeks. Stand outside for five minutes and you're drenched in sweat. Go back inside and the air conditioning shellacs the sweat to your skin like icicles.

It sucks.

However, I can't put all the blame on the AC...

It's also my stomach's fault. I've had HORRIBLE IBS all week.

See the pic? That's pregnant lady belly, seat belt style. It's what I've got going on right now. And I've eaten only a date bar, some protein powder, and some broccoli ALL DAY. It's almost seven PM at night.

Let's kill two birds with one stone, shall we?

Stuck in the AC Tea

1/2 cup rice milk
1/2 cup macadamia milk
1 teaspoon cardamom
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
7 drops of vanilla stevia

Ginger, cardamom and cayenne are all EXCELLENT herbs for both cold symptoms AND digestion. They kick ass because they are HOT. They get the intestines swimming. They send the mucus packing.

If you are like me - suffering from AC syndrome - don't go feeling all summery and hitting up the peppermint. That's a cold herb. Warm herbs are best for the red freonned throats.

Don't look at me. This is just the shit that I read. Matthew Wood. Herb Mentor. Rosemary Gladstar. Herbal Ed. The info's out there.

Hmmm... and guess what?

I feel better now!

Maybe enough to go play with my plants a little.

Check out valerian!


Daddy says it's gonna bust through the kitchen window!!!

Feed me Seymour!