IBS is so 2010

Last summer, I taught Writing Skills to students in an accelerated summer science program. One day I hobbled in, very sick with IBS.

Sometimes, IBS can get so bad that I can't digest anything. I've complained about this before. My stomach balloons. My ass aches. My head is dizzy from lack of nutrition.

This was one of those days.

I admitted to one of my fellow teachers that I wasn't feeling well. He was once a medical student, and asked what was up. I tried not to get into it. But he pressed me.

"What is it?" he asked. "Gastro-intestinal?"

I was like: WTF am I? Inside Out Girl?



So I admitted it. I explained my problems in the most polite fashion possible. I also admitted that I was really stressed.

"Stress typically doesn't cause problems like IBS," he told me. "Usually, there's a bacterial infection that screws everything up first."

Well. I considered this for a long time. But after the past year, I can firmly disagree.

STRESS TOTALLY AGGRAVATES IBS!!!

Since 2004, I've worked more than one job. Usually three. I've also been commuting an hour to an hour and a half to those jobs.

Since January of 2011, I've worked ONE job. And my IBS has been pretty much non-existent. It flares up during PMS or if I eat something I shouldn't. But generally - it's over in a day - NOTHING as bad as it was back in '05.




What else makes me think that stress is a huge causing factor of IBS? This article. There are others like it and books too. While Science Daily talks bacteria, I've read other books that point out the close connection between the stomach and the nervous system.

Think about it. What do we say when we are nervous about something? We have butterflies in our stomach!

There are involuntary muscles in our stomach and guts. Our brain sends those muscles messages to digest our food. Therefore, when our brain is screwy, our stomach and guts are screwy.

Case in point: ME.

So, in dealing with your IBS, remember where your head is at. Think about what Sassy Gay Friend told Juliet. Look at your life, look at your choices.

Toots


How do you handle stress?


How do you handle life -
without getting stressed?

Have you sent me your story yet?
Fourteen days left 'til the deadline!

Call for Submissions!

I need your help.

Think back to when you first realized that something wasn't right with your tummy. For me, it was on the toilet. I'd had chronic gas for three days. And nothing was happening. There was this sinking feeling in my skin. Something was wrong.

When did it hit you?

What did you do after you realized that you might have IBS? Did you see a doctor? Did you go to the library? Did you talk to friends?




After you were diagnosed, what did you do? How did you proceed? Did you try meds? Or did you play with your diet? Where did you go to find information?


Me? I spent five years playing with my diet. I went organic, vegetarian, dairy free, gluten free, casin free, sugar free, raw, Atkins, ayurvedic. I ate a diet followed only by the Abkhazians of southern Russia.




Looking back, I think I could've figured out what to do so much more quickly, if only I'd other IBSsers to talk to.


IBS is SO random. My story can only help so much. I want to tell stories about other people who also suffer from IBS. I want to bring all of these stories together in one article. I want to publish this article, in the hopes that by talking about our common symptoms and treatments, we can help others.

Anyone can go to the doctor, right? But not everyone can get advice from a crew of fellow IBSsers all at once!





So...

Would you like me to tell your story?

If so, please email your story to fartygrrl@gmail.com. Please keep your story around 200-400 words. Try to answer the following questions:

When did you start suffering from IBS?

What were your symptoms?

Did you go to the doctor? If so, what treatment were you given? Did they work?

How did you deal with IBS initially?

How are you dealing with IBS today?

What are your "offender" foods?

What foods make you feel good?

What has IBS taught you about how to eat and live?

Hold up!

You may be thinking.

What's in it for me?

If the article gets published, you could get paid. Don't get excited. IF we get money, it probably won't be much. But you will get your story published in a magazine.

My fellow writers - you could have a publication to add to your resume!

My dear bloggers - you will gain traffic for your blogs.




My lovely nutritionists - you will gain clients!




My fellow businessmen and women - you will gain customers.

Submissions will be closed on June 14th. (That's my birthday!) If you send me a story, I will send you the finished article for your approval before it goes out. If you have any questions, please email me!

I hope to see your story in my inbox!!!

200-400 words

fartygrrl@gmail.com

If you are interested in checking out my published works,

please check out the "My Story" tab above.



Photo by Meech!

A Smooth Criminal...

My favorite movie theater candy used to be Twizzlers.

I didn't like licorice; I just liked Twizzlers. I loved to suck on them until their ridges got all withered. I loved to stick them through the top of my soda can and drink soda through them.

Twizzlers had to be red. Not black. Who on earth liked the black stuff??? In school, when the subject of Twizzlers came up, the black ones were legendary. Every kid knew at least one person - usually an old crotchety aunt or yelly great uncle - who lived for black licorice whips.

It's funny how we used to think of Twizzlers as licorice. Because really, it's the farthest thing from. Licorice is actually a root. The root has tons of health benefits. Here are just a handful:

Soothes inflamed stomachs
Ulcers
Asthma
Bronchitis
Coughs
Bladder infections

Certain varieties of the plant are known to be
Estrogenic
Anti-inflammatory
Anti-allergenic
Anti-convulsive
Antibacterial

Me, personally...?

I love how gnarled and barky it is.

I love how it soothes my throat.

I love how it soothes my acidy tummy

Mostly, I love the perfect touch of sweetness it adds to tea.

Look at it - Doesn't it just look rich and sweet? That's 'cos it is! It carries a lovely butterscotchy flavor with it. Licorice works with other herbs though. It takes the edge off super flowery lavender. Meanwhile, it connects with that flora essence, bringing forth a flavor all its own. Nettles are another herb that taste a little sharp. Licorice root helps nettles taste like a caramelly black tea.

Because I have chronic sore throats and IBS, I drink licorice root A LOT! Here are some of my favorite licorice tea blends.

Pirate's Defense

1 part nettles

1 part echinacea

1 part licorice root

For colds coming on... arggg!!!!

A Smooth Criminal

1 Part Licorice Root

1 Part Marshmallow Root

1 Part Elderflower

For when you've been hit by...

When you've been struck by...

Crap! A sore throat!

Pretty in Pink Tummy Tea

1 Palmful Marshmallow Root

1 Palmful Licorice Root

1 Palmful Echinacea

1 Palmful Dried Raspberries

1/2 - 1 Tablespoon Ginger Powder

1 teaspoon Fennel Seed

2 Cups of Water

1/2-1 Cup Unsweetened Rice Milk

3-5 drops Stevia

There are always warnings that come with drinking licorice root tea. This is because back in 1879 or something, some kid ate a pound of licorice candy and died. Seriously. That's why it has warnings.

Licorice has been known to raise blood pressure, cause water retention and hypertension.

Not all herbs agree with everybody.* Herbs affect every body differently. So it's best to take it easy. Start small. See how it goes before you kick it hardcore with the licorice.

Toots

What's your favorite movie snack?


What's your favorite herb or spice?


What do you take for sore throats?

*Herby sidenote: I react poorly to angelica, aka dong quai. It's touted as a reliever of PMS symptoms and a hormone regulator. It knocked all of the energy out of me. Both days I took it, I passed out through most of the afternoon. And I don't nap! Weird!!!




Source
Duke, James A. and Foster, Steven. Eastern/Central Medicinal Plants and Herbs, 2nd ed. New
York: Houghton Mifflin Co. 2000

Sunrise!

Summertime is usually when I break out boxes of cereal. For me, little is as comforting. Cereal takes me back to childhood, when it was all I ate.

Now, I appreciate nuttier, granola-type cereal, stuff with little sugar. Eating cereal is all about the crunch! Am I right? On a summer night, I love to sit by a window, clutch a bowl in my hand, listen to the crickets, feel the dark cool breeze, and chomp-chomp-chomp!

So when Mambo Sprouts emailed me, asking if I'd do a review of their gluten free Crunchy Maple and Crunchy Vanilla Sunrise cereals - I was like: "Duh!"



Both I ate - uncharacteristically - for breakfast. I ate them with fistfuls of cacao nibs. That's a must. Cacao tastes awesome in already sweet cereal.

So yeah - these are SWEET. Seven grams of "cane juice" is in 2/3 cup. That's sweet for what I'm used to. The ingredients include buckwheat flakes, corn, rice, quinoa, amaranth, and flax seeds.



There's no soy. There's no gluten.

The maple crunch tastes like pancakes. It tastes exactly like pancakes. The maple flavor is slightly overpowering, but not in a bad way. That's what maple is, right?

The vanilla is much more laid back. I like this. It's not whack-you-in-the-face vanilla, like so many other vanilla-flavored cereals. It just tastes like good cereal. The sweetness is not so crazy in this one; however, it still ranks 7 grams of sugar.



How bad is seven grams?

I used to sweat over the three grams in my corn flakes. Compared to what the average daily American eats, it ain't bad! Shoot, there's 30 grams of sugar in a can of Coke! What's seven?

Nutritionally, are these cereals ideal? Absolutely not. They are refined processed foods.

But they are also delicious.

For me, they will satisfy PMS cravings and moments when I am hungry, but just don't have the energy to cook something.

Most days though?

I'm pushing whole foods, cooked or soaked grain cereals.



Like this - cooked sorghum!!!

If there was any way to make these Sunrise cereals the consistency of granola - whole grain, rather than crispy flour balls - then I'd be happy.

But I'm not complaining. And I will finish both boxes!

Toots

What's your favorite cereal?



What's your favorite flavor?

Vanilla? Honey? Maple? Molasses?




What food do you eat
when you don't have the energy to prep?

Here's my personal favorite sunrise...

Whaaaaaaa???

Stupid BLOGGER killed my arnica post.

Here's a quick update of what's up!

I got hired to work in the apothecary at my local market!

I saw Tommy Emmanuel with one of my favorite lifelong buds.

Here and here are my two favorite songs by him.

He played neither, but whatev... still a great show!

I ate vegan sushi three times in one week - twice in one day - AND once in a car. It was on the way to Tommy Emmanuel.





I saw Bridesmaids. It was GREAT. I never buy movies, and I'm totally buying it when it comes out on DVD. I related completely - the main character even has my name. Now, I just need to work on getting pulled over by a really cute Scottish cop. Or become BFFs with Kristen Wiig, my hero.








I'm bidding on this. Any bidders better know who they are up against. I'd pay thirty bucks for it. Someday I may tell you why. Here's a hint, that you won't understand at all.

I've been eating a lot of super tasty low cal foods!

Pumpkin Breakfast Bread




Eggy veggies in a collard

Kraut-juice Kale chips





Green Bean Pizza

Made with Sareena's perfect socca crust





Microwave chocolate cake

In: Malbec.

Out: Cab Sav.

I love this tincture. It WORKS.

Got allergies? Drink mint tea. It saved me twice this week. As the newest apothecarian at my local market, I suggest mixing mint and eucalyptus, for the best effect!

I got free cereal in the mail! Reviews to come later this week!

Cereal is one of my favorite summer time foods.

I love it so much,

I eat it in my car.


Roll with me, Gluten Free Corn Flakes.

Check out this amazing band. I've known the singer/guitarist/songwriter since he was fourteen, and I was sixteen. I've known the drummer since I was nine. They are super cute, super talented, and super great guys. God I love living in a small town.

Check out this amazing jewelry maker. I've known her since I was nine!

New favorite ice cream.

RECAP!

Mean Boyfriend: Gone.

Heart: Still in mourning.

But: There's always a but...

Dream job: Got.

Friends: I know who the real ones are.

Sun: Out.

Life: Awesome.

Toots


What's new with you?


What eats are you enjoying this week?


What music are you listening to?


What is your favorite memory of friendship?

Seriously - my friends are so awesome...

I will remember the last two weeks for the rest of my life!!!

I am lucky to know them - and you.

Let's Play a Game

Now - my turn.

Some of these kale chips are not like the others!

Do you know why?

This kale chip was made with extra virgin olive oil



This kale chip was made with raw cultured sauerkraut juices!

You may remember that I've started counting calories to lower my percentage of body fat. Lowering fat has really helped my IBS big time. So! Here's another low fat recipe!

Low Fat Kale Chips

1/2 cup raw cultured sauerkraut juices

1 Tablespoon aduki bean miso

3 Tablespoons of nutritional yeast

Sprinkles of sea salt and pepper

I don't know if this can be considered a probiotic kale chip or not. There are lots of probies in the miso and the sauerkraut juice. But would the heat from a dehydrator kill them off? I don't know.




In other news, my baby sister graduated college yesterday. We traveled down to Arlington, Virginia for the commencement.




We ended up eating at Ted's Montana Grill twice - because it was so good. They are an eco-friendly restaurant. The straws are cardboard and the tables are topped with recycled paper.




The servers were super nice and the kitchen, very accommodating! I was able to doctor up a salad with grilled asparagus that was so freakin' yummy, I didn't even care that it made my pee stink for two days!

None of us are huge fans of Arlington. But God forbid you are ever stuck there, check them out!

Toots

I'm high on allergy meds right now...

I got nothin'...

Ha!